The Marble Jar System

Last week I retired the Star Chart. I didn't feel like it was working the way I wanted it to. Sure, the kids were doing what they were supposed to, but it wasn't curbing the unwanted behaviors (like fighting, whining, not listening) and Aurora would count how many stars she could still lose before the week was out.

Enter the Marble Jar System! I read about this in Parenting or Family Fun or one of those magazines.

To prepare, Aurora and I went to Hobby Lobby and got 2 small glass vases, 1 medium glass vase, some decorative pebbles for the marbles, ribbon, letter stickers, and decorative stickers. When we got home the kids decorate their jars and I made a print out of responsibilities and their marble designation.



On the print out, I used graphics instead of numbers for the marbles so that Alex would be able to count them and know how many. My judgment for the number of marbles was basically:

-Stuff that they just needed to do everyday and was part of life - 1 marble
-Stuff that still needed to be done everyday but required a little more effort - 2 marbles
-Stuff that required a lot of effort and/or wasn't done everyday - 3 marbles



I discussed the plan with the kids. Each time they did something on the list, they would get the designated number of marbles. Each time they had bad behavior or did something unacceptable, they would lose marbles, and Mom and Dad determined how many at the time. And sometimes Mom and Dad may give extra marbles if we see behavior that we think should be rewarded, like sharing nicely or doing something that wasn't asked of them. When their marble jar was filled up to the ribbon, they got a trip to the dollar store (a favorite place) to pick out a toy and a piece of candy.

The kids were super excited about it. They made sure that they received their marbles when they did things on the list. Occasionally when I asked Aurora to do something she would say, "Do I get a marble?" and we'd have to discuss how we help each other and do things around the house even when there is no "reward." That ended pretty quickly.

So far it's been working great. They are doing their chores. Aurora has no idea how many marbles she still needs to reach the top, so she continues to do what she needs to do. Adding and removing marbles is quick and easy and is easy to reward extra good behavior. Fighting can be curbed with a simple, 'Do I need to take some marbles away?"

It's been a week and their jars are about 1/3 full, so I'm guessing it'll take 3-4 weeks to fill it. My only concern is if that is too long for them to wait to be rewarded since they are still both so young. If it is, I may get smaller jars or move the ribbon down. But for now, it's working for us!